


we're never done with killing time

by liveinfury



Series: the markings on your surface [4]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 20:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14901155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liveinfury/pseuds/liveinfury
Summary: He looks over at Patrick huddled in the comforter, only his curls poking out from underneath, and decides to go for it. He gets out of bed and walks over to Patrick’s, sliding in behind him.Patrick has a tight grip on a pen and he’s biting his lip as if he’s contemplating something.“Sleep,” Jonny says, pulling the pen out of his hand and tossing it on the nightstand next to the bed. Jonny feels bad for possibly interrupting Patrick's time talking to his soulmate but a selfish part of him is happy he did.(can be read as a standalone)





	we're never done with killing time

**Author's Note:**

> big thanks to namesintherafters and Ellie for editing and being great betas! 
> 
> title is a lyric from 400 Lux by Lorde.
> 
> **this can be read as a standalone, you don't have to read the other parts of this series to understand this one.**

Jonny pants into Patrick’s mouth and captures his lips in a crushing kiss before gently pulling out of him, hand on the base of his dick to keep the condom in place. 

“Did you eat some rejuvenating organic energy shit this morning?” Patrick asks, star fishing on the bed and lazily watching Jonny clean him up.

“I literally just woke up...you woke me up! At what point between me sleeping and me being balls deep inside you did you see me drink anything?” Jonny asks, tossing the towel he used to wipe them both off in the pile of other used towels.

Patrick lifts an eyebrow and smirks. “Does my cum count or?”

“You’re disgusting,” Jonny says, laughing.

“I’m just saying, what else can explain how good that was?” Patrick asks.

Jonny lies back down on the bed next to him. “It was pretty good, eh?”

“Top five,” Patrick comments. “Maybe top three if you brushed your teeth first.”

“Fuck off, go shower,” Jonny says, shoving Patrick off of his bed. 

Patrick goes willingly, grabbing a towel and strutting to the bathroom knowing full well that Jonny’s eyes are on his ass, his cock stirring at the sight.

Jonny sighs and relaxes into his bed. He remembers the first time they did this back when they were eighteen and so naive and awkward. At first he was terrified it would ruin their friendship or affect their hockey, but they quickly got into a rhythm of how things went. Now, five years later, they’re just as solid as they were at eighteen. He feels lucky that he’s found such a long-standing fuck buddy.

Technically, they haven't always been fuck buddies in the last half-decade. There have been times when one or both of them have been in relationships, but whenever they’re both single, it’s just convenient to hook up with each other instead of going through all the effort required to find someone new.

They're just killing time with each other until they eventually meet their soulmates, whenever that will be. Or that’s what Jonny’s doing at least. He’s not really sure what Patrick’s whole deal is with soulmates, they don’t really talk about it.

Jonny tosses over in his bed a few times, trying to get comfortable. The AC starts up again and a breeze passes through him. Times like these – when he wants to cuddle – he wishes his soulmate were here.

His own reasoning as to why he’s waiting is because he wants to have some more fun before he settles down. He knows once he meets his soulmate, there’s going to be no one else for him. When he first started hooking up with people or ventured into relationships, he felt guilty, like he was cheating on his soulmate, or he’d feel like he was cheating on his actual boyfriends when he would talk to his soulmate. After some time, and after talking to his soulmate about it, he doesn’t feel that way anymore, but he’s started to avoid relationships lately because he thinks he might want to meet his soulmate soon.

And also because he might have kind of developed feelings for Patrick. It’s a new thing, a very new thing but every time he’s around the guy lately, his palms sweat and his heart beats in excitement. He’s not sure if it’s because he genuinely likes Patrick or because he’s lonely. Either way, there's really no room in his life for anyone new.

Jonny grabs a pen off the bedside table and writes on his wrist.

**Morning!**

He doesn’t get a reply after waiting for a few minutes but carries on writing anyway.

**I forgot to ask, did your sister like what you got her?**

**And did you tell her it was my idea because I think I deserve some credit :)**

**You’re probably still sleeping**

**I’ll try again in a while**

The water turns off in the bathroom and Patrick steps out a few minutes later, running a towel through his hair and throwing it on the desk chair.

“Shower’s all yours,” he says. He’s naked and Jonny eyes his cock, swinging with every slight movement. Patrick walks over to the space between their beds, dick inches away from Jonny’s face.

Jonny stretches his neck to close the space between them and laps at the head of Patrick’s soft dick while Patrick checks his phone and grabs the pen Jonny just used.

Patrick moans and backs away from Jonny. “We don’t have time for round two. Bus leaves in an hour and we didn’t even eat yet.”

Jonny rolls his eyes and heads to the shower. As he’s playing with the water temperature, his wrist starts to burn.

_Morning!_

_Sorry I was in the shower and yeah she loved the spa trip and no I didn’t tell her it was your idea_

_You can’t get on my family’s good side yet you’ll get a head start and that’s not fair_

Jonny doesn’t want to keep his soulmate waiting for a response so he heads back out to the room for a pen. 

Patrick’s twirling one around in his hand, staring at his wrist. “Can I borrow that?” Jonny asks.

“I’m using it.”

Jonny huffs in annoyance. “You’re not writing anything. I’ll be fast, please?”

“Don’t you have any backups? Use the hotel pen,” Patrick says.

“That is the hotel pen,” Jonny says, looking at it pointedly.

“Fine,” Patrick grumbles and hands it over.

**I guess you’re right.**

**I’ll just tell her when I meet her lol**

**So what are your plans for today?**

Jonny doesn’t know much about his soulmate when it comes to things you should know about people you’re friends with but he does know the little things like:

His soulmate’s initials are PK - Jonny fondly calls him K  
He has three younger sisters and slightly overbearing but loving parents  
He’s Jonny’s age but never went to college  
He travels a lot for work  
He’s American and lives somewhere in the states  
He’s a morning person, which is extremely obnoxious to Jonny  
He loves strawberry-flavored everything  
He’s got a stupid sense of humor that Jonny loves to hate  
He’s wicked smart about things he’s passionate about like hockey and history

Jonny thinks if he really sat down and tried, he could write a whole book about the things he knows about his soulmate. The glaring things he doesn’t know are easier: his full name, where exactly he lives, and his job.

He’s lucked out that his soulmate is in the same boat as him when it comes to not revealing things. Jonny hasn’t told K much about himself either and they’ve both agreed early on that they wanted to wait and see how things went in their lives and careers before meeting. Even knowing each other’s names could ruin things considering how it only takes a google search to find out anything and everything about a person these days.

Jonny’s nearing 24 and as he watches his teammates get married and have kids, he can’t help but want to meet K sooner rather than later. His new crush on Patrick also speeds up the problem. He can’t risk it getting any stronger.

“Give it back,” Patrick interrupts Jonny’s thoughts, making grabby hands at the pen.

“I’m not done,” Jonny responds, waiting for K’s answer.

“Too fucking bad,” Patrick says, shooting out of bed and grabbing the pen out of Jonny’s hands. “Go shower, you smell like sex.”

Jonny frowns and gives up with a huff, he’ll just have to write back after his shower. As he steps back into the bathroom, his wrist stings.

_Work and more work, same old_

_What about you, Justin?_

Jonny smiles and starts to wash himself. He told his soulmate his initials were JT and since then K’s taken to calling him “Justin” or “Timberlake.” He knows next to nothing about the singer but it’s endearing that K has a nickname for him.

When he’s done showering and dressed, they still have a few minutes to kill before they need to make their way down for breakfast so Jonny replies back to K while lounging on his bed, watching Patrick run around the room and pack last minute as always.

**I’m working all day too**

**I’ve got a couple days off soon so I’m looking forward to that**

Patrick jolts up straight from where he’s pulling his charger out of the wall socket. 

“Shock yourself?” Jonny asks.

“Nah,” Patrick says, staring down at his wrist. Ah, his soulmate must have written to him.

Patrick rushes over and takes the pen out of Jonny’s hand.

“Yes, of course you can have the pen. Thanks for asking, Patrick,” Jonny mutters.

Patrick ignores him and scribbles something on his wrist. He throws the pen at Jonny’s face after he’s done, just barely missing his eye, and goes back to packing. “I swear if that had injured me…” Jonny trails off as ink appears on his own wrist.

_Me too! Wish we could hang :)_

Jonny lets out a fond sigh. Patrick must hear because he turns around and poses for Jonny. “Does me packing get you all hot and bothered?”

Jonny rolls his eyes. “That sound was directed at my soulmate.”

Patrick’s face falls and is replaced by a smile so fast that Jonny’s not sure it happened at all. “Oh, that’s cute!”

**Maybe we can?**

Jonny waits patiently for a response but nothing shows up on his wrist.

“Ready?” Patrick asks, sounding distracted.

Jonny nods and hops out of his bed. He lines up his suitcase at the front of the room and follows Patrick out the door down to team breakfast.

He doesn’t get a response from K until later that day after their game against the Flames. He’s just gotten home and caught up on what’s going on around the league when his wrist stings.

_Sorry I was busy all day but I don’t think that’s a good idea_

_I’m not ready_

Jonny’s stomach rolls. If now isn’t a good time then when will be? He doesn’t want to wait around forever for K and risk his crush on Patrick becoming anything more than that.

**Not to be pushy but do you know when you will be ready?**

_No I don’t. I’m sorry, JT_

Jonny doesn’t know what to do with that response. He feels like he’s in a limbo with K, like he’s just waiting for a maybe or a someday when all he wants is now.

**

“Um,” Jonny says when he opens the door only to have Patrick shove his way inside his apartment. “Pat, the movie starts at 7, not 6. Why are you here so early?” Jonny double checks the time on his phone to make sure he’s right before shutting the door and following after Patrick to his bedroom. 

“Hi,” Patrick greets him when he walks in. He’s sprawled out on Jonny’s bed, completely naked and hard.

“Uh,” Jonny says, unable to form a thought. 

Patrick laughs at him. “Are you drooling? Like I think I see actual spit coming out of your mouth, dude.”

Jonny scoffs and wipes his lips and oh, so he was drooling. “Fuck off.”

“That’s the plan,” Patrick replies, grinning. He starts tugging on his dick and spreads his legs wider so Jonny can get a better look. 

“Jesus,” Jonny mutters. “Why are you like this?”

“Like what?” Patrick asks, innocently.

Jonny doesn’t bother responding. He pulls his shirt over his head and pounces on top of Patrick.

“I already prepped myself for you so all you gotta do is slide in,” Patrick says as Jonny sucks on his nipple.

“What? But I love prepping you,” Jonny grumbles.

Patrick runs a hand through Jonny’s hair and tugs at his own dick with the other. “Yeah, but you love fucking me more, right?”

Jonny groans and scrambles to get a condom from the nightstand.

An hour and two rounds of orgasms later, they make their way over to the theater down the block from his place. 

“Just admit it, I have the best plans,” Patrick says, leading them to their seats.

Jonny plops down next to him and grunts. “Sure.”

“I know how tired you get at night. After dinner you’ll just want to crash and I won’t get any dick, so I came earlier,” Patrick says, laughing. “Literally.”

“You think you’re so cute,” Jonny whispers as the movie’s opening credits start rolling. “But you’re not.”

Patrick smirks and leans over the armrest to kiss Jonny’s cheek. “That’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told.”

Jonny’s stomach swoops at the kiss. It’s so innocent compared to what they were up to earlier but that’s exactly why he feels a weird tingling sensation throughout his body. They don’t really do casual affection if it’s not foreplay.

His soulmate isn’t ready to see him so why should he put his life on hold? 

***

A week later, before a game against the Blues, K writes:

_What’re you up to?_

Jonny rummages around his bag for a pen but comes up empty. With a quick survey of the locker room he sees one by Patrick and walks over.

“Can I borrow that?” Jonny asks, nodding at the pen.

“How do you never have any extras?” Patrick asks, rolling his eyes and handing the pen over. 

Jonny takes it and plops down next to him in Shawzy’s vacated stall as he’s off chattering away with Sharpy on the other side of the room. “Wanna come over after the game?” Jonny asks.

Patrick tilts his head as if he’s thinking about it before shrugging. “Depends.”

“On what? I’m not gonna beg, asshole,” Jonny says, shoving Patrick’s shoulder.

“On whether or not you score a goal tonight,” Patrick answers. “If you score, I’ll come over. If you get score and get more than one point, I’ll let you fuck me.”

Jonny can’t help but laugh. “Oh? _Let_ me fuck you, eh? Alright, deal.”

Patrick grins in response.

Later, when Shawzy shoves Jonny out of his stall and Q comes into the room to announce the starters, Jonny’s still holding Patrick’s pen and he’s completely forgotten what K originally wrote to him. He thinks it probably wasn’t too important and puts it out of his mind, focusing on lacing up his skates and preparing for the game instead.

***

Patrick pulls away from Jonny after a rather filthy round of sex and goes over to sleep on his own bed in their hotel room, leaving Jonny feeling cold and hollow. It's normal for Patrick to do this but there's usual a few minutes where they lay in silence after sex, catching their breathes with their limbs tangled around each other's.

_Haven’t heard from you in a while?_

_What’s going on?_

Jonny reads the words on his wrist and though he wants to ignore them, he’s not that big of a dick.

**Nothing. Just busy with work, the usual**

_Well I’m sorry again about not being ready to meet you_

_You mean a lot to me and I want it to be perfect_

**It’s ok**

Jonny thinks it’s just best to keep it short and simple. He doesn’t bother asking for K’s definition of perfect, his response will probably be “I don’t know.”

He looks over at Patrick huddled in the comforter, only his curls poking out from underneath, and decides to go for it. He gets out of bed and walks over to Patrick’s, sliding in behind him.

Patrick has a tight grip on a pen and he’s biting his lip as if he’s contemplating something. 

“Sleep,” Jonny says, pulling the pen out of his hand and tossing it on the nightstand next to the bed. Jonny feels bad for possibly interrupting Patrick's time talking to his soulmate but a selfish part of him is happy he did.

Patrick turns around and looks up at him in confusion, as if he just realized Jonny came over to his bed. “What are you doing?”

“Sleeping,” Jonny replies, wrapping his arms around Patrick’s waist and tucking his head under his chin.

Patrick sighs and nuzzles against him. “This is nice.”

“Yeah,” Jonny agrees, closing his eyes.

When he wakes up eight hours later, Patrick’s still asleep. Jonny can’t help but stare at him as he looks soft and sweet. With every exhale, Patrick’s long eyelashes flutter against his skin and his nose twitches. Jonny’s chest aches at the sight. Just as he starts counting the freckles that rest over the bridge of his nose, Patrick’s lips start moving. “Stop staring, freak,” he mumbles.

Jonny jolts away from him. “I wasn’t-”

“Sure,” Patrick says, blinking awake. “I could feel your beady eyes trying to steal my soul.”

Jonny rolls his eyes and pulls away. “I don’t even know why I bother.”

“Because you love me,” Patrick says, yanking Jonny back down on the bed as he makes to leave.

Jonny stiffens at his words. He’s obviously joking but it hits a little too close to home.

***

They finally get time alone together a few days later during an off day. They make plans to workout and order in for dinner.

Patrick’s been a bit distant the whole day and when their dinner is delivered, he settles down on the other end of the couch, far from Jonny.

Jonny lets it go, thinking Patrick’s probably in his own thoughts about something or other, but when they decide to turn in for the night, he heads towards the guest room instead of Jonny’s.

“Where are you going?” Jonny asks.

Patrick turns back around to face Jonny and scratches the back of his neck. “I’m not really up for anything tonight.”

“Well, you can still crash in here,” Jonny says, pointing at his room.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Patrick waves off. “Thanks though.”

Jonny stays rooted in the hallway, frowning as Patrick disappears into his guest room.

***

Over the next few weeks, Jonny continues to avoid having an actual conversation with K, opting to try and spend more time with Patrick instead. Although, that proves difficult as he’s been more and more despondent lately. 

It all comes to a boil after practice one day. 

Jonny hovers near Patrick’s locker, waiting for him to get out of the shower so they can make plans. 

When Patrick finally emerges, Jonny bolts up. “Wanna get lunch?”

Patrick barely looks at Jonny, the now-perpetual frown firmly in place, and shakes his head. “Nah.”

“We can catch a movie?”

Patrick doesn’t respond so Jonny leans in closer so that he’s the only who can hear before saying, “Or we can skip to the best part and just head back to one of our places?”

Patrick almost flinches at his implication. They haven’t had sex in two weeks, and at first Jonny just thought their schedules were too hectic, but lately it’s almost as if Patrick’s been avoiding him.

“What’s up with you lately?” Jonny asks, crossing his arms.

Patrick’s already dressed and shoving things haphazardly into his bag. “Nothing, ‘m fine.”

Jonny reaches out and grabs his wrist to slow him down. “Relax, why are you in such a rush?”

Patrick scowls and rips his hand out of Jonny’s grip. “Why can’t you leave me alone? Take a fucking hint, dude.”

Jonny’s stomach drops, and before he can turn away and retreat, Patrick stops him. 

“Wait, I didn’t- I didn’t mean that,” Patrick says, taking Jonny’s own wrist in his hand. “I’m just going through stupid soulmate stuff and I just...I didn’t mean it, okay?”

Jonny can’t meet his eyes. “Yeah, okay,” he says, shrugging him off.

He feels so embarrassed. Here he was thinking that they might actually have something more than what they’ve always had between them but he was just seeing what he wanted to see. Patrick loves his soulmate, that much Jonny’s gathered over the years and if he ever had to choose, there’s no doubt in Jonny’s mind Patrick would pick his soulmate.

Jonny doesn’t know what to do with himself now. He’s in love with Patrick, he can feel it in his traitorous heart, the way it buzzes to life around him, sings when they kiss, dances when they have sex, but he can’t do anything about it. It’s the first time in his life he’s wanted something that, no matter how hard he tries, he can’t have.

After speeding home and stomping around his apartment, Jonny, out of a fit of desperation, grabs a pen off his living room table and starts writing on his wrist.

**I think I fucked up**

K responds immediately. 

_Oh are we talking now?_

**I’m sorry I’ve been a dick**

_Why? Is it because I said no to meeting you?_

**Not really**

**I have something to tell you but I don’t want to hurt you**

_Are you seeing someone?_

_We talked about how it’s okay_

**No, well not really**

**It’s more that I’m falling for a friend and I’ve never felt like this before**

_Do you love him?_

**Honestly? Yeah, I think I do**

K doesn’t respond as quickly as before so Jonny busies himself by putting away his practice bag and stripping down to his boxers for his pregame nap. When he’s tucked into bed, his wrist finally itches.

_Do they love you?_

Jonny reaches over for his pen to respond.

**No, he loves his soulmate**

_I’m sorry_

**Why are you apologizing? I’m the one trying to say sorry.**

**I’m the biggest asshole**

_You’re not! You can’t help who you love_

_If anything it’s my fault for refusing to meet you_

_If I did, maybe things would be different_

**K, stop. It’s not your fault, please please don’t think that**

Jonny lets out a frustrated growl and tightens his grip on the pen. When K doesn’t respond, Jonny continues.

**I don’t know what to do. I want to meet you so I don’t fall even harder for this other guy**

_So you want to stop loving him?_

**Yes of course! I want to only love you**

_Why don’t you just stop seeing him?_

Jonny bites his lip, thinking of an explanation that would keep things vague.

**We’re coworkers and I can’t quit, I’ve worked so hard for my job.**

**There’s no way I can avoid him**

K takes a break from responding again. Jonny stays up, staring at his wrist, willing it to etch words on itself but since his body is so acclimated to his routine, he eventually falls asleep.

The Blackhawks lose 6-2 that night. Jonny takes two stupid penalties and Patrick looks lost on the ice the entire time. Jonny rushes through changing and postgame interviews, not wanting to be around Patrick any longer than he absolutely has to.

He has to get over Patrick. He _has_ to.

It isn’t until Jonny’s tucked back into his bed a few hours later that his wrist burns with words. He leans over to his nightstand to turn on the lamp.

_You should try to make something happen with your guy_

Jonny groans and writes back.

**He’s not my guy**

**Why would you even want me to do that? You don’t care?**

_Of course I care but maybe there’s something there between you two_

_I don’t want to get in the way of that_

**You aren’t! if anything, I’ve let him get in the middle of us**

_You’ve got the biggest heart out of everyone I know, JT_

_If you love him then he must be a special guy_

Jonny whines in pain as he reads his wrist. Patrick is a pretty special guy but so is his soulmate.

**You are too**

_If we do eventually meet and get together, I don’t want you to have any doubts_

_I want you to be with me because you love me, not because I’m your soulmate_

_I don’t want you to think “what if” about this other guy, so I want you to give it a try with him_

Jonny asks what he’s been dreading to bring up since he mentioned his predicament.

**What if things work out with him?**

It’s a few minutes before K responds.

_Then I let you go_

**But I don’t want to let you go**

_You can’t have both of us. Talk to this guy and see what happens_

_I think it’s best if we don’t write to each other for a while_

**You mean the world to me, K. I just want you to know that**

**I wouldn’t be who I am without you on my wrist**

_< 3_

K doesn’t write anything else after that and Jonny doesn’t think he will either. He reluctantly turns his lamp off and drifts off to sleep.

***

Jonny doesn’t think Patrick will return his feelings, always too caught up with his soulmate, but he needs to do something and move on from this weird in between he’s been in lately. 

They’re out celebrating their first win in five games at a bar. After Jonny does a preliminary walk around, making sure all the guys are accounted for and behaving, he settles down in the booth that a few of the married guys and Patrick are occupying.

Patrick’s holding a beer that looks like it’s barely been touched and a frown adorns his face. It seems like his face has been permanently like that the last few days. Jonny’s wanted to confront him about it and get Patrick to share what’s got him so upset, even if it’s still soulmate problems, but he’s refrained, knowing Patrick wouldn’t appreciate being interrogated.

“You okay?” Jonny asks, settling down next to Patrick.

Patrick sighs and takes a sip of his beer. “I wish you’d stop asking me that.”

“I’m just making sure-”

“That my head is in the game. I know. I had two points tonight, you don’t have to worry about me,” Patrick interrupts.

Now it’s Jonny’s turn to frown. “You know that’s not why I’m asking.”

Patrick grits his teeth and replies, “I don’t want to have sex with you.”

Jonny tries not to take offense to that and pushes on. “That’s not why either. Is that really what you think of me?”

Patrick deflates, shoulders slumping forward. “No, sorry. I’m just having a bad few weeks.”

“Anything I can do to help?” Jonny asks, leaning closer so they can hear each other better.

“Not unless you can get my soulmate to love me, no,” Patrick answers.

“They don’t love you?” Jonny asks.

Patrick shakes his head. “No, but I don’t blame him. I’m a mess, how could anyone love me?”

“I do,” Jonny blurts out.

Patrick stiffens next to him. 

“Can we go back to my place or yours? We need to talk,” Jonny says, not wanting to explain himself at a nightclub.

Patrick looks like he’s about to say no but then nods curtly and gently shoves Jonny out of the booth.

They don’t say anything as they get an uber back to Patrick’s place and take the neverending elevator up to his apartment. They don’t say anything until Jonny shuts the door behind them.

“I meant what I said. You probably don’t want to hear it but I do love you,” Jonny says, following Patrick into his living room.

“What kind of love are we talking about here?” Patrick asks as he rubs his wrist.

“I’m in love with you. I want to be with you, like really be with you, Patrick,” Jonny replies, sitting down on the couch next to him.

“Fuck,” Patrick mutters.

“I know,” Jonny says, laughing awkwardly.

“Jonny, I don’t-”

“I know,” he repeats.

“I’m so sorry,” Patrick says.

Jonny nods, trying to remember to breathe. He knew this was the likely response he’d get from Patrick yet he can’t help but feel a little surprised and hurt.

“I did,” Patrick says after a few minutes of silence between them. “Back in our rookie year, I think I loved you or was deeply infatuated with you, but I got over it fast because I knew I loved my soulmate. It’s always going to be them in the end, no matter who else catches my eye.”

Jonny doesn’t know what to say to that revelation. He’s internally cursing every deity for the shitty timing of their feelings. During his rookie year, Jonny was too busy getting acclimated to the NHL and puking up his guts because of nerves and a terrible diet. He always thought Patrick was hot and they did hook up a few times that year but it didn’t go beyond that for him, not until these last few months.

“Have you met them?” Jonny eventually settles on asking.

Patrick sighs. “Nah, that’s the problem.”

“I’m here if you want to talk about it,” Jonny says. 

“My soulmate’s in love with some other guy because I’m too much of a pussy to meet him,” Patrick explains, slumping down on the couch.

“That’s not your fault. If he doesn’t care enough to wait for you, then that’s on him,” Jonny says, already hating the guy. What a fucking dick.

“He does care. Jonny, you don’t get it, he’s the sweetest guy in the world and he’s smart and he loves hockey and-and I love him. I love him so fucking much,” Patrick says, putting his head in his hands.

Jonny swallows a lump in his throat and wills his mind to get into protective friend mode instead of jealous selfish dick mode. “Once he meets you, he’ll feel the same way for you, trust me. You’re the perfect person for him.”

“And when will that be?” Patrick asks.

“Now? Tomorrow? Just write to him and tell him you want to meet, it’s never too late,” Jonny says, despite the ache in his chest.

“I can’t. I told him to explore things with this other guy. I’d be a selfish asshole if I just interrupted things and demanded to meet him, it wouldn’t be fair,” Patrick says.

“Why didn’t you want to meet him if you love him so much?” Jonny asks.

Patrick shrugs. “I dunno, I guess I thought he wouldn’t like the real me. Especially with being a hockey player and everything that comes with our lifestyle I was scared he would reject me.”

Jonny nods in understanding. He doesn’t really know what to say but he so badly wants to stop Patrick from hurting. They sit in silence for a while, both wallowing in self pity. 

Patrick heads to the kitchen and comes back with two water bottles. After he takes a big swig out of one, he laughs to himself.

“What?” Jonny asks, uncapping his own water.

“If only you were my Justin,” Patrick answers.

“Justin?”

Patrick points at his wrist.

Jonny laughs humorlessly and says, “Yeah, if only my PK stood for Patrick Kane.”

Patrick chuckles at first but then stops and squints his eyes at Jonny. “PK, huh? Funny...my soulmate’s initials are JT.”

Jonny doesn’t really know what to do with that information, it’s not like his name is Justin.

“He kind of reminds me of you sometimes,” Patrick continues.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. He can be serious but a huge dork. Tells lots of dad jokes,” Patrick says, grinning.

“Fuck off, that’s not all I do,” Jonny says.

“Sure it is. I just summed up your whole being in a few sentences.”

Jonny reaches out and punches him in the shoulder. “Well, my soulmate reminds me of you too.”

“Oh yeah?” Patrick challenges.

“Yup, he’s a momma’s boy who clamors for attention and is a secret nerd,” Jonny says, satisfied at the scoff Patrick lets out.

“Well, my guy’s a momma’s boy too! He’s a fucking Canadian and loves maple syrup.”

“I don’t _love_ maple syrup,” Jonny huffs. “Besides, my guy’s a nauseating American who can’t shut up about his sisters. He’s got three, too!”

“Yeah? Well mine has a brother and...and he went to college!” Patrick says triumphantly. 

Jonny rolls his eyes. “My soulmate didn’t go to college!”

Patrick bites his lip, thinking of another comparison between his soulmate and Jonny. “He’s a total hippie. Always talking about the environment and recommending me random diets,” Patrick says, pointedly.

Jonny grunts. “Mine likes everything strawberry.”

“Mine likes gardening!”

“Okay, but does he grow garden towers?” Jonny challenges with a smile.

“Yeah!” Patrick yells, jumping to his feet. “Tomatoes!”

Jonny’s smile starts slipping as he stands up too. “I grow tomatoes.”

“Exactly!”

“What?”

“What?”

_Oh no._

“You said his name is Justin?” Jonny asks, willing himself to relax. None of this means anything, these are just coincidences. 

“Yeah, well no. I mean, I don’t know. His initials are JT so I just started calling him Justin as in, you know, Justin Timberlake,” Patrick explains, scratching the back of his neck.

Jonny’s mind starts working a mile a minute. Everything starts lining up perfectly, all of these similarities, how Patrick’s soulmate fell in love with someone else after he refused to meet him, how Patrick always had a pen in hand when Jonny needed one. 

“What did you get your sister for her birthday?” Jonny asks, swallowing loudly.

Patrick’s mouth falls open. “Which one?” he says after a few beats.

“Whichever one that had a birthday in October,” Jonny says, slowly.

Patrick reaches out and grabs Jonny’s wrist in his hand, fingers softly trailing over where his soulmate’s words always appear. “That’s Jackie. I got her a, um, a trip to a spa.”

Jonny can barely breathe, he feels like he’s going to pass out. “Your idea?”

Patrick trembles and shakes his head. “My soulmate’s.”

Jonny surges forward and covers Patrick’s lips with his own. He grips his shoulders and shoves him down on the couch. It’s all a blur of skin, teeth, and tongue as they paw and try to get each other naked.

“I love you,” Jonny says when Patrick pushes his shirt up in an effort to take it off.

Jonny leans back in for more when Patrick stops him with a firm grip on his hip.

“Is this...this can’t be-”

“Real?” Jonny asks, laughing at their stupidity. 

Patrick laughs back and takes Jonny’s face in his hands. He gently brushes his thumbs over his cheeks and leans in. “I love you too.”

Jonny grins and closes the space between their lips.

Ten minutes later, Jonny pushes Patrick away before he can shove his hands into Jonny’s boxers and jumps off the couch.

“Where the fuck are you going?” Patrick growls. 

“Pen,” Jonny pants. “Need pen.”

“What, you need to take notes or something?” Patrick asks, frustrated. “What the fuck, man?”

Jonny ignores him and looks around the room for a pen, finding one resting by a vase of fake flowers that Patrick no doubt picked to appease his mom’s usual complaint of his place lacking any color.

He settles back on the couch, grabbing Patrick’s hand and placing it next to Jonny’s own.

Jonny looks up to meet his eyes, breathing in deep before touching the ink to his skin.

**Jonathan Toews**

Jonny’s stares at Patrick’s wrist as soon as he’s done writing, his whole world hinging on the next few seconds. 

As the words slowly etch themselves across Patrick’s wrist, Patrick grabs the pen from Jonny’s hand and writes back to be sure.

_Patrick Kane_

It’s a name Jonny never would have thought would appear on his skin and as the letters start to fade, it almost seems like they leave behind a mark, faint ink still splayed across his skin. He rubs at the letters, making sure this isn’t a mistake or some elaborate joke.

Patrick covers Jonny’s hand with his own to stop him from rubbing his skin raw. “It’s real,” Patrick whispers, leaning closer to Jonny. “It’s real.”

“You’re my soulmate,” Jonny says, staring at his wrist. “I can’t believe this whole time-”

“It’s been me?” Patrick finishes for him. “Yeah. Me neither.”

Jonny pulls Patrick closer and gently kisses him. Patrick responds by wrapping his arms around Jonny’s neck and crawling into his lap. 

Eventually, Jonny breaks their kiss. “You better tell Jackie the spa was my idea, asshole,” he says, panting into Patrick’s mouth.

Patrick laughs, tongue sliding across Jonny’s bottom lip. “Make me.”

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://liveinfurry.tumblr.com/)


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